


Kissaphobic

by nora_bora



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Complete, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, It's not detailed but it's there, Keith (Voltron) Has Anxiety, Lucid Dreaming, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Slow Burn Keith/Lance (Voltron), Soulmates, You've been warned, teen and up for eventual smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 22:34:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13750593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nora_bora/pseuds/nora_bora
Summary: Apparently, finding soulmates in space is a lot easier (and gayer) than on Earth. You have the universe either working for you or against you, literally, and in his case Keith finds it kind of hard to land one due to his soulmate being one of his closest friends, and also very uninterested. But is he though? Or is Keith just really, very paranoid? He'll work on his ever present single status in what proves to be the toughest week of his life and hopefully come out with a soulmate with no problem. However, the universe is a cruel, cruel subject and Keith learns that the hard way.





	1. The universe sucks

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I honestly have no idea what this is, sorry. I'm just saying this in advance in case y'all come after me with pitchforks. There's some angst in just about each chapter because I have no self control and a little something something towards the end. And yes, this is named after that *one* song by Makeout Monday because I love them and, again, have zero self control. Okay! Enjoy!

_This is all too familiar. This room. The lighting. The faces...everything. And you hate that Lance isn't here. You hate it, but you hate yourself for it more. You could have done something to save Lance from that explosion. But you were too slow, as always. Stupid universe. Stupid fate. Stupid, stupid, stupid._  

Keith snapped to attention at the soft touch of a hand on his shoulder.

“Keith, buddy, you okay? You've been laying here for the past day.” The stern but comforting tone of Shiro’s voice pulled Keith into reality. And it's true. Keith had been lying against the cold, solid glass of the cryopod for over a day. He really, really wanted Lance to be okay.

“I’m...I'm fine.” He stuttered. Shiro gave him a look that was soft but also worried, and Keith knew what was going to come next.

“Keith, you should go get some rest. Some real rest. That mission put us all up, but I think you and Lance took the worst of it.” Shiro was right. But Keith had refused to go into a pod against everyone's wishes. He wasn't that injured.

Instead of taking the much needed time to heal right away Keith collapsed in front of Lance's pod and waited. For over a day, apparently. It wasn't that Keith liked Lance or anything. Probably.

“Keith.” Shiro’s unwavering tone made Keith want to listen to him and actually sleep, but he would have to take a hard pass this time. Or at least until Lance got out.

“Alright. Okay, Shiro. Let me just-”

“Keith, I swear to God if you aren't in bed by the time I-”

“Fucking hell-”

“Keith.”

“Fine! Fine. I'll sleep, okay? Jesus.”

“That's good to hear. I'm glad you agree.”

“You're just as stubborn as always, Takashit.”

“I never get tired of that one,” Shiro chuckled.

“And I’m real tired of you. Are we done here?”

“At least you admit you're tired,” Shiro smiled.

“And yes. For now.”

“Finally. Thank God.” Keith sighed as Shiro walked out of the med bay.

He had no intention of leaving the med bay anytime soon. If he was already a day and a half into waiting for Lance, then he could wait a day or two more. Besides. He could have saved Lance before the explosion. It was just his dumb, stupid reflexes.

Shit. He can't do this to himself. Not now. The last thing he needs is for the self-blaming to kick in again. It was awful in elementary school. Specifically fourth grade, when it really hit Keith that his mom wasn't coming back. He secluded himself from friends because he told himself he didn't deserve them. Because he drove away his mom. He didn't want to do the same to his friends too.

Eventually his teacher noticed what was going on and contacted the school shrink. Keith spent an hour each week feeling like complete shit while an old woman told him that it wasn't his fault. 

Whilethis was supposed to be helpful, it really only made Keith feel worse about himself. Until he eventually stopped giving a shit about things. 

Keith let his head fall back against the cool glass and closed his eyes. A short nap wouldn't hurt.

Before Keith actually started to doze off a soft 'hey bud’ pulled him out of sleep. Hunk stood in the doorway with a small smile on his lips but eyebrows furrowed a little in worry. And why shouldn't he be? Keith was lying against a pod trying not to have a panic attack for absolutely no reason.

“Hey, Hunk.” Keith tried to mirror Hunk’s smile and give him one less thing to worry about, but it didn't feel sincere.

“You good?” He asked, stepping towards him.

“Never better.”

“Have you eaten?” Hunk asked, examining the boy in front of him.

“Yes- yeah. I have. Thanks.” And that was a lie. Actually, Keith hadn't eaten since right after the mission at least thirty-six hours ago. But he wasn't hungry. Just extremely tired.

“Good. Hey, dinner is soon. That’s just why I asked, but it seems you're occupied currently.” Hunk winked and started to walk back out of the bay.

“Oh wait- Hunk, no- I'm not-”

“It's cool, man. I won't tell Lance,”

“How’d you kn-”

“Keith, listen.” Hunk cut him off. “You’re a great fighter. Really. You are. And a great friend. But acting-wise? Do you take criticism? Because you suck at hiding feelings.” Keith blushed at this and frowned, crossing his arms across his chest.

“I do not.”

“Mm. Okay. Alright. Have fun with your boyfriend, Keith!” Hunk called, a smile still on his face.

Keith groaned and let his head fall back a little too hard against the pod. Any minute now Lance could wake up. And Keith could actually sleep for once in a long time.

He'd better get extra brownie points for this. 

_The circular room was dim and shadows were cast all around the walls from the few lights spread lazily throughout the space._

_You looked around at the familiar faces; Shiro and Allura were together on the floor reviewing their rough injuries from the battle a few hours before. Pidge and Hunk were near them hovering over a small piece of tech grabbed from a supply room on the alien ship they had been on previously._

_And Lance...he was nowhere to be found there. You turned in a full circle nervously, searching the room for a glimpse of him._

_You looked but to no avail, and just as you were about to give up and collapse on the floor something caught your eye from the front of the room._

_You turned towards the figure and a smile lit up your face. In the doorway stood none other than Lance himself; scratches and bruises covered any revealing skin uncovered by his armor. A helmet sporting a cracked visor sat in his arms lazily and part of his chest plate was shot through so that a patch of grazed tan skin was showing underneath._

_You opened your mouth to call out to him. To call him over. But no sound met your lips and you were stuck staring at the brunette with a worried expression. No matter how many times you tried to call out to Lance, no sound came out._

_Once or twice you’d even tried to walk toward the other man. You'd reached no luck, of course. But it was worth a shot._

_Time flew by and you and Lance seemed to be frozen in your spots; Lance was still unaware of you and you were still very much aware of Lance. Yet you could do nothing about it._


	2. the awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty then welcome to slow burn the musical. I'll be your guide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked the first chapter! There's still more (and more angst, sorry), so hang tight! I'll try to post chapters when I can, but the fic is almost done on my end.

Keith awoke to artificial lighting flooding the room and a not-so-happy Shiro standing before him.

"Keith, when I said go to bed I didn't mean here!” Shiro facepalmed.

“I know, I know. Listen. I shut my eyes for a hot sec-”

“Keith you know we have an important mission coming up. You can't jeopardize our success rate and your mental health all at the same time.”

“Shiro.”

“All I'm saying is you've got to start tak-”

“Shiro.”

“Alright, alright. At least you slept. But don't expect me to take it easy on you during training this week.” Shiro smiled his signature big brother smile at Keith and headed back the way he came.

“Oh yeah and one more thing.”

“Hmm?” Keith hummed.

“You and Lance are pretty cute together.”

“Shiro what! the fuck! We aren't even dating!”

“I've seen enough to get the idea here. But if he ever hurts you, he's got these bad boys comin’.” Shiro held up two fists at the cryo pod menacingly.

“Would you kindly fuck off,” Keith glared.

“Okay okay.” Shiro chuckled and backed out of the bay.

“Food in five!” He called behind him. 

Keith sighed and rose to his feet to stretch. And fuck did his back hurt. He made a mental note to never, ever, under any circumstances, sleep against a cryo pod again. Even for Lance. 

As Keith finished up he noticed movement out of the corner of his eye and sped over to the pod as quick as he could before the door swung open and Lance wobbled out, landing in Keith’s arms.

“Lance! Are you okay?” He asked, helping Lance prop himself up a little bit so he would be more comfortable. Lance was currently stationed against Keith’s chest, and Keith had to will himself not to blush at this.

“Never better-” Lance smiled. “-Now that you're here.” He looked up at Keith, hands pressed against his chest. And Keith knew it was just a cheesy pick-up line and Lance probably didn't even mean it. He hit on every alien with a pair of tits and a smile on this side of the Galaxy.

But Keith couldn't stop the flutter in his chest when he thought about it. He knew his face was already probably heating up, and not just because of how close they were, or the fact that he could feel the heat of Lance's hands seeping through his thin t-shirt.

“Lance.” he dead-panned.

“Aw c’mon mullet. I'm just messing with you,” Lance said. And from this angle Keith could look down right into his blue ocean eyes and see little specks of gold. Had those always been there? Or the little freckles dotting his tan cheeks and the bridge of his nose? Those too?

“Mullet? Earth to mullet,” Lance chuckled.

“Mm. Sorry let's get you to your room.” Keith started walking, letting Lance use him as a crutch.

“You know, mullet, if you wanted to see my room all you had to do was ask,” Lance teased. Keith felt his face flush.

“Lance, I swear to god-”

“Because really. Is this just a ploy to get it on? Kogane, I thought you were better than that,” Lance chuckled.

“Lance, so help me one more crack and you'll be on the floor.”

“Alright, alright. I'm done.”

“Good.”

Lance and Keith continued down the hall in a comfortable silence, each in their own thoughts.

“You don't look so hot, mullet,” Lance remarked after a few moments. “What did you do?”

“Me?” Keith hadn't even checked himself out since the last mission. He had no idea how he looked. Probably like a train wreck.

“Yeah. You look tired as shit and beat up too. Did you even sleep at all? C’mon man, I'm not the one who needs to go to bed.”

“Mm. No, no, I’m-” Keith paused to yawn. “-fine. I'm good.”

“You sure? Have you been eating? Drinking water? Keith I'm worried 'bout you, man…” Lance paused where he was and turned Keith to face him, examining Keith's sunken eyes and bags and all.

“I swear I'm fine.” A low rumble broke out just as he said that, and sometimes Keith hated his body with a passion.

“Dude. You're starving. C’mon.”

“Lance, really, I'm-”

“No.” And it was final. Lance practically dragged Keith to the kitchen now that his legs had regained strength. Keith wanted to laugh at it all. Lance, the one who took the sharp end of the stick all through that mission was leading Keith, the one who took the blunt end. It was almost ironic.

Once they reached the kitchen they found it completely empty; Shiro’s warning of five minutes had long expired half an hour before. And Keith didn't mind. He liked the quiet. Especially Lance. He liked Lance too. 

Lance searched the cupboards for some alien equivalent of soup but gave up almost instantly, deciding to grab leftovers from the fridge instead. He clucked his tongue at the sight of what they had.

“Alright, Keith. What'll it be? We have food goo or food goo.”

“I dunno, man. The second one sounds pretty good to me,” Keith smiled.

“Really? Me too,” Lance joined in. He poured some into two bowls on the counter and handed Keith one.

“Let's go dig in,” Lance smiled. Keith swore he hadn't heard better sounding words in quite a while.

The two boys ate quickly and loudly, all table manners forgotten in the haste of hunger.

“Hunk outdid himself on this one,” Lance said. Keith couldn't say anything with all of the goo in his mouth so he just hummed appreciatively.

“And anyway. What did you do?” Lance asked.

“Hmm?”

“Didn't you go into a cryopod too?”

Keith stayed quiet, eyes fixed on the remains of his food.

“Keith? You didn't, did you? And why? You were just as bad as me out there. Don't tell me you thought I needed it more. That's complete bull.” Red started to tint Lance's cheeks as he worked himself up slightly.

“And anyway, what in the fuck possessed you to think that you shouldn't go into a pod after all you've been through? God, sometimes you're so reckless, you know that?”

“Lance, I'm fine. I swea-”

“Don't even try that crap on me. I've grown up with, like, 6 other family members. I know when someone's not okay. Let's go.” Lance cut him off and grabbed both of their bowls to take to the kitchen.

“Why are you doing this?” Keith said after Lance had come back and grabbed his arm, pulling him away from the table.

“Why the fuck shouldn’t I? You clearly spent your free time waiting for me in that pod. Don't think I didn't notice, Kogane. Now I gotta make it up to you.”

“You really don't.”

Lance stopped where he was, Keith's arm still in his deathly grip. His eyebrows were furrowed and his mouth was in a tight line.

“I'm getting real tired of hearing that.”

“Alright, alright. Sorry.”

“Mm. Now c’mon. You need to sleep.” 

Keith didn't want to argue with Lance like this so he let the other boy pull him through the long hallways and to his room. 

When Lance had finished dragging him, Keith was released from the grip and set free into his room. Before he collapsed on his bed, though, he turned around and smiled at Lance.

“Thanks, I guess.” 

And Lance smiled back. “No problem.” 

And just like that, Keith turned around and fell onto his bed. But. All good things must come to an end, apparently.

“Aw shit!” Lance yelled from the hall. Keith rolled his eyes.

“What is it, Lance?” He monotoned.

“My- uh- door is locked. And I forgot the key…”

“Where?” Keith asked, sitting up now.

“...in my room.”

“Lance,” Keith grumbled.

“But it’s fine. I’ll just get Coran and-” Lance’s voice faded away as his footsteps carried him off. What a dumbass.

Not much time had passed before Lance was back.

“So Coran said it would take four or five days.”

“The fuck?” Keith asked, surprised it would take him that long.

“Yeah, well. He’s kinda busy with prep for that big mission, and repairing the castle and our lions from the other one…”

“Mm.” Keith hummed.

“So. Guess I’ll be staying with my good bud Keith!” He smiled enthusiastically.

“That’s a no.”

“Oh c’mon, man! I swear I’ll be a good roommate!” 

Keith weighed his options. Let Lance sleep with him every night, or throw out his only chance of ever being this close to him again.

“Alright. Fine. But if you annoy me I’m kicking you out.”

“Yay!” Lance squealed. “We’re going to have so much fun!”

Keith sighed. Four days. Then he’ll be free. 

He climbed back into bed and faced the wall, not expecting to feel the bed dip next to him. 

He turned over a little to find Lance staring at the ceiling, blankets clutched to his chest.

“You okay?” Keith asked.

“Perfect.” Lance replied. That settled it. And Keith had to agree. He was perfect.

He realized a few things that night. One, he was falling asleep much quicker than he thought he would. And two, he was falling in love much harder than he thought he would.

_“Lance!” You tried calling again, desperate this time. You couldn't put your finger on it, but it felt as though if you didn't get Lance's attention you would die on the spot._

_Shiro and Allura’s heads turned towards you. But not Lance's. You tried again._

_“Lance…” it was less sure this time, a little frail from trying for so long._

_And then the seemingly impossible happened. The brunette turned to face you and your eyes met._

_Right away Lance's eyes lit up and then like clockwork yours mirrored his._

_“Keith!”_

_“Oh my god! You're alright!”_

_“Keith…”_

_“Lance!” And you could feel your heart skip an extra beat when Lance held out his arms._

_And you wanted to go over to Lance. To touch him- feel him. Know he was real, and there, and alive...but your legs refused to move._

_But this time...this time was different. This time, Lance took the first steps to you. The first few, very small steps._

_And you froze all over, smile still on your lips. You couldn’t wave it off no matter what you did, but you didn’t want to either._


	3. Everyone's gay in space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ;) accompanied by :( followed by ;) ending with :/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah so I'm not sure what happened here either but if you liked it leave a kudos or something :)

Keith checked the spot in the bed next to him. No Lance. He was fine with that. Probably.

Keith rolled off the bed with a thud, too lazy to actually stand up and get out of bed. He knew that today was going to be hellish for him. The paladins had a training session planned, and although Keith could fight, he hated the sessions. They were always the same routine since the first time Coran had started them.

He crawled to the dresser and pulled out clothes at random: black pants, black T-shirt, red jacket. He wore the same thing everyday; today wasn't the day to stop.

Allura ordered all the Paladins to eat breakfast for the needed energy, but Keith wasn't hungry

He went down anyway, because Lance would be down there.

A stupid reason, sure, but after yesterday?

He figured it was for the best. He needed to prove to Lance he was fine.

Even after that weird, continuous dream he'd been having.

Keith entered the dining room and looked around, targeting Lance in his usual spot, so he went over to him and sat down.

Everyone had already started eating, so no one noticed Keith just pushing his food around. That was until Keith caught Lance’s eyes on him for a few moments. He brushed it off. Lance probably didn't see anything out of the ordinary.

“Okay, everyone. I know we’ve had a tiring week, but the adventure has hardly begun! Let's finish up and hit the deck for training!” Allura beamed from ear to ear.

Keith didn't need to be asked twice. He pushed back from the table and dropped his bowl off in the kitchen before he trekked to the training deck.

Once inside, feedback rang over the loudspeaker, and all of the Paladins threw their hands to their ears.

“Argh! Coran!” They all yelled in unison.

“Sorry, sorry, Paladins! Just trying to get your attention is all,” he said, laughing. “It seems to have been effective, though!”

Everyone turned their gaze upward to the balcony above the deck and gave him a collective stare of disapproval.

“Let's suit up and hit the maze first,” Coran sang.

_Always the maze first._

They all groaned but left anyways. Getting on Coran’s bad side so early in the morning was a no-no.

They met up back at the maze not even ten minutes later. Everyone seemed to anticipate training today more so than any other day.

“First up in the maze is Pidge. Guiding her will be Hunk. Let's move it, you two!” Pidge rolled her eyes but made her way to the entrance. Once there, Hunk began to give her directions from the box above the maze.

“Hey, uh, Pidge? Take a step forward…” Hunk’s voice faded into the background of Keith's mind as he thought about nothing but everything at the same time. It was mostly all Lance. Or that dumb dream. Both, actually.

Eventually Pidge and Hunk had made it all the way to the end, much quicker than Keith had anticipated.

“Good teamwork, guys! Okay, next up is Keith and Lance. Keith? You're in the box with me.”

He ran up the stairs to the box, skipping every other step.

By the time Keith had made it to the box Lance had already gotten to his spot.

Keith surveyed the floor layout. He could see the walls of the maze but Lance couldn't. He needed to figure out the best way through, and fast.

“Okay. Lance, take three steps to your right.” Keith instructed. He hoped it would work. Lance moved to his left.

“Your _right._ Yeah. That's good. Okay, now take five forward and two left.” Lance followed every instruction Keith threw at him now that he was actually trying.

Keith was getting memories from the first time he had directed Lance through the maze and how he hadn't listened at all. He'd come a long way, that's for sure.

By the time Lance neared the end, the maze took a steep diagonal cut right to the finish. Keith hadn't accounted for this apparently.

“Next there's a diag. To your right, and keep taking little steps. To your _right. Your right,”_ he hissed. He didn't want Lance to get zapped.

Lance had remained silent the entire maze, keeping focussed on the task ahead.

“Okay hot-head. _My right. Got it.”_

Lance went to the left. He was one wrong step away from getting a zap.

Keith facepalmed.

“ _Lance,”_ he groaned. “Your _other_ right.” he did as he was told, _finally,_ and advanced down the small amount he had left.

Keith sighed.

And then it was his turn, and as he gradually made his way down the short staircase and into the hallway, Lance ran past him, high fiving him on the way.

He froze where he was and grinned. Keith almost forgot how to move his legs, but a sudden volt of electricity ran through him.

It was his turn now.

He see open the double doors and lined up at the entrance, cracking his knuckles. _Here we go._

“Hey Keith, you ready?” Lance called down.

“Let's go,” Keith grinned up at Lance.

“Alright, hot-shot. Take a few steps forward, then, like, three to your right.”

Keith did as Lance said, trying his hardest to not get zapped. It's not like he could help it, though. The walls _were_ transparent.

Direction after direction, Lance kept going, urging Keith through the maze.

“Last set. Take two steps to your right,” Lance said.

Keith did. And as he did, he ran into the wall, feeling a small buzz through his body.

 _“Lance_ ,” he growled.

“Oh, sorry, my _other_ right.” He smirked, winking as he did.

Keith rolled his eyes and moved in the opposite direction. Next up after the maze were the Droid fights, and Keith wasn't really feeling up for them. Not like he had a choice, but still.

Keith met the other paladins in lining up against the wall. Coran switched out the maze for a battalion of droids that were supposed to resemble Galra fighters, purple paint and all.

Lance was over by Hunk stretching his arms, and if Keith had had a tiny bit more courage he would have waltzed on over and started a conversation. But, of course, that wasn't Keith. At all. And also, since having those weird dreams Lance had been starting to avoid him a little, and Keith thought it should be the other way around. Or he was just paranoid that Lance knew he was dreaming those things. Either way.

But he couldn't hold back forever. No matter how hard he wanted to.

So that's what he told himself as he walked over to Lance, hoping to god he wouldn't stumble over his words or anything.

But he wouldn't have to worry about that, because Lance was already up and walking over to Pidge by the time Keith had opened his mouth to talk. Whatever. He didn’t _need_ Lance’s attention or anything. And Keith didn’t even have to wallow in self pity for long because soon Shiro was over there and ordering them around, and the bots were on.

“Grab your Bayards!” Shiro ordered, pointing to their group.

Lance ran in first and started shooting at a small group, so Keith ran in as backup, eventually taking on as many as possible to try and better himself, but he knew he was just releasing negative energy that was pent up. He was bad with emotions so he would never admit that to himself. Luckily he didn’t suck at sparring or combat and could use this to get rid of anger. It helped.

Keith was really on a roll, too. He had taken out ten in the last five minutes and didn’t plan on stopping. Meanwhile, Pidge has worked her way up to a third bot in the past five and Hunk had hit his fourth.

Keith didn’t pay attention to Lance.

And soon Shiro was waving at him from across the floor and yelling, but Keith had been so focused he hadn’t noticed until now.

“Keith, hit the showers. Training is over for today.” Shiro smiled.

That was odd. Usually they would move onto team building or something after combat. Not that he was complaining.

So he did what Shiro suggested and joined some of the team in the showers. By the time he’d gotten there Hunk was finishing up and Lance was a no-show. He figured Shiro was already done, and Pidge had been given a room with a shower in it to avoid any problems. So the room was relatively quiet as he started his cleaning process. Hair first, since that would take a bit. He washed out the shampoo and then put in conditioner. After that was washing his body, and as he reached for the soap the bathroom door opened.

Keith peeked through a parting of the curtain, and saw Lance in the doorway, looking around. He spotted Keith and made a face; somewhat smiling and also a little confusion. So Keith waved awkwardly and shut the curtain real quick.

He turned around to face the water, feeling his face heat up. He finished washing the soap off of his body along with the conditioner. The sooner he got done the better.

He shut off the water and grabbed his towel, wrapping it around his waist. Lance was still showering as Keith left the bathroom and headed back to his room.

He still had a few hours before dinner so Keith decided it would be alright if he napped for a bit.

Just as he was getting settled his door swished open and Lance walked in, putting his stuff on the little table in the corner. He looked around the room for a moment and noticed Keith, tensing up before turning around and exiting their shared space.

_Why was he acting so weird all of the sudden?_

A million thoughts buzzed through Keith's head as he drifted off. His mind flashed to the dream he'd been having, and he wondered if Lance knew he'd been dreaming of him. It was all so…weird.

They started drifting apart just as the dream started bringing them together. It's almost as if Lance _knew._ He wasn't having the dream too, was he? It couldn't be.

_But could it?_

 

A soft knock echoed throughout the room.

Keith sat up quickly, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He half expected it to be Lance and half hoped.

“Come in,” he said sleepily.

The door opened revealing Shiro, a plate of food goo in his hands.

“You slept willingly.” He said the words with a grin on his face.

“Mm.”

“Can I come in?”

“Proceed.”

Shiro chuckled and walked into Keith's room, closing the door behind him. He handed him the plate and sat down next to him on the bed, back against the wall.

They sat together for a few moments as Keith stabbed the food onto his fork.

“Are you doing okay?” Shiro asked.

“Never better.” Keith continued stabbing the goo, bringing it into his mouth angrily.

“Alright, ‘cus you're kinda mutilating the food there.”

“I'm _fine._ ”

“You sure? Even with you and Lance?”

Keith froze. How did Shiro know everything? _All the time?_

“We're fine.” He said that with a little less confidence.

“If you say so,” Shiro chuckled. “Listen, Keith. I'm here if you need to talk. I might be the team leader now, but I _was_ your brother first.”

Keith nodded. He knew all this.

But they weren't brothers. Not by blood, anyway. Shiro took him in when Keith’s mom left and his dad became a raging alcoholic.

Because Shiro knew how it felt to lose a family member. He'd lost his dad to an airplane crash coming home from a visit to family in Japan. His mom left him shortly after that, too. Shiro had to create a life for himself at seventeen.

Ten-year old Keith couldn't believe the news when he heard it. That the ever-awesome and amazing Takashi Shirogane was like _him!_

Shiro put aside his worries and problems and became the older brother Keith never had. He took care of him in a little shack in the middle of ass-crack nowhere. Shiro even took him to the Garrison with him when he left. And Keith couldn't have been happier.

“Keith.”

He blinked a few times, realizing that he felt tears welling up in his eyes.

“I'm fine. I'm-"

“No. Look at me.”

Keith did. Shiro sighed, rubbing his face.

“What’s going on with you.” It wasn't a question this time.

“It's nothing. Really.” Shiro frowned. “I mean, it's nothing to Lance probably. It's just…I've been having this dream.”

Shiro nodded, urging Keith along.

“And it's been focusing on me and him. And, well…it's super awkward between us now. Because the dream has been happening every night. And each night we get closer. And…I think Lance knows or something. Because he's been avoiding me, and everything is awful.”

Shiro studied Keith for a second, processing the information.

“I see. And you think it's bringing you two apart?”

“Yeah. I think he can see the dream too.”

“Hmm. Why don't you give it a night? See how it goes tomorrow? Maybe you're overreacting.”

“Maybe.”

Shiro ruffled his hair. “Come hang out with us,” He said, smiling.

“I…I think I'm going to train a little. Get some energy out.”

“Alright. Be safe.”

“Oh yeah. And one other thing,” Keith said.

“Hmm?” Shiro questioned.

“You took it easy on me in training today. I thought you weren't gonna.”

Shiro smiled. “C’mon, Keith. You know I mess with you all the time. I could see something was up. I didn't want to push you.”

“You little softie,” Keith laughed.

Shiro smiled again and shoved Keith lightly before rising and leaving him in the room alone.

Keith stayed in the dark for a few more moments before getting up and walking to the suit bay. He wasn't in the mood to train now, but he knew it would give him an excuse to stay away from Lance for a bit. He might just want space. Keith could accept that.

On the way back from suiting up Keith checked his comms. He had a few messages from Hunk asking him if he was alright that were sent a few hours ago, and a few from Pidge that were sent five minutes ago telling him to get his ‘ass down to the fun’.

He sent a quick 'training, sorry’ and hoped Pidge wouldn't be mad. The last thing he needed was Pidge avoiding him too.

Before long Keith reached the deck and started his training sequence. The bots flew into the small space all too quickly, and Keith regretted setting the level to such a high one to start out.

No matter. He could do this.

Keith swung his leg around and took out two of the four. This wasn't so bad.

The other two swarmed over to him and he raised his fists, punching the bots so hard they collided together and then into the wall. Keith laughed. This wasn't so bad at all.

Just like that the bots were taken out and new ones replaced those. Six this time.

Keith grabbed a sword off of the tools rack and got in his fighting stance.

One at a time the robots flew over to him and raised cylindrical tubes at him. Keith had a lapse of momentary confusion before spurts of green rays shot out at him, flying just above his head. Keith ducked a little too late. Good thing they were just warning shots.

But he needed to focus.

This is what got Lance sent to a pod.

_Lance…_

Another ray shot out at Keith and he summoned his shield quick enough to deflect the laser. Before the bot could shoot another Keith sliced it in half quickly with his sword. The bot fell to the floor in pieces and the one behind it hovered forward.

Keith took them all out in a pattern of dodge and strike, and soon a new fleet replaced those. Keith sighed.

_Why can't he just talk to Lance…_

He raised his sword in anticipation but lowered it when the bot shut off. Immediately he searched the room for the source of the power outage. There seemed to be nothing, so Keith reset the power box. Still nothing.

And he was just starting to get in a good groove too. Oh well. Maybe this was the universe telling him to go visit his friends.

“Shut up, universe.” Keith remarked out loud. He didn't care. He was going to shower and sleep. So there.

_Take that, universe._

Keith shut off the lights and let the doors slam behind him. He then flipped off the sky. Sure it was excessive. And a little edgy. But he didn't care.

Except he _did_ go back and close the doors more carefully. He wanted to make sure they stayed closed. Drafts and all.

He hit the showers and tried to enjoy it.

He had heard that the longer you spent in the water the more lonely you are.

Keith spent twenty minutes just rinsing off his body.

 _Shit._ Oh well.

He decided he liked the warmth and spent another twenty in there.

Water bills be damned.

After his vacation to the bathroom Keith checked himself out thoroughly in his bedroom mirror. Very thoroughly, in fact.

He had multiple scratches up a little above his right eye and he had a cut on his lip. A bruise accompanied the cut a little lower, and a second appeared under his left eye. His hip was bruised badly and he had a few gashes on his thigh that had already started to heal. His knees were also bruised. _Crappy paladin armor._

The mission wasn't even that physically demanding. Keith just sucked at defense.

While he was finishing the inspection his bedroom door swung open and Lance stood in the doorway, eyeing a half naked Keith. Thank God he left the boxers on.

“Shit! Sorry!” Lance yelled, slamming the door shut.

Keith laughed. What a guy.

He pulled on actual clothes and collapsed onto the bed, waiting for Lance to reappear before drifting off.

A quiet knock sounded not too long later.

“Keith? You decent? ‘Cus I can wait,” Lance asked.

“Come in, Lance.” Keith caught himself smiling.

The door reopened and closed and Lance walked in, joining him on the bed.

“G’night Keith.”

“Night.”

And just like that there was silence.

_“So we meet again.” Lance smiled._

_“It appears so.”_

_Lance grabbed your wrists and pulled you into a hug._

_“I'm so glad you're okay, Mullet.”_

_“Me too, Lance.”_

_Lance hugged tighter._

_“I'm never letting go.”_

_You squeezed back. “But I will.”_

_Lance cocked his head for a second in confusion as you untangled yourself from Lance. You grabbed his face, crashing your lips together. Lance made a small, surprised squeak but didn't stop, throwing his arms around your waist._

_So you wrapped yours around Lance's neck, moving to tippy toes to be able to reach._

_You started giggling for no reason at this, interrupting the kiss and causing Lance to start giggling too. You stayed in that position, holding each other, but laughing uncontrollably now. You two earned stares from around the room but kept at it._

_Let them look._

_You were high on happiness and too far into each other to care._

Keith snapped awake. He looked to his right at Lance and checked to make sure he wasn't awake too.

But his back was to Keith.

So Keith stared at it, memorizing the muscles and lines of the bare skin. And _man_ was Lance pretty. Even if it was just his back.

Keith corrected himself. Lance wasn't pretty. He was _beautiful._

Tan, smooth skin stretched over tight muscles, covering Lance's back perfectly. Keith reached out a hand but stopped himself before he made contact with Lance. He ached to run his hands over it all.

_That would be weird. Quit it. Don't think about how amazing he looks._

Keith retracted his hand and sighed.

And just like that Lance rolled over in his sleep, eyes squeezed tightly shut and eyebrows furrowed in distress. He was whimpering slightly, too, Keith noticed. Lance's fists clenched the blanket tightly, white knuckles making the light blanket look gray in comparison.

Keith scooted closer and wrapped his arms around Lance, hoping the other boy would calm down a little.

Keith felt Lance’s body relax against his, a sigh escaping the brunette’s lips.

And there they were: Lance being held by someone who he wouldn't ever dream of holding him, and Keith embracing someone he couldn't stop dreaming of holding.


	4. Sorry.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a n g s t c e n t r a l ™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my writing is just Mood Swings the Musical and I'm sorRY  
> Also there's a little s m u t ™ in this chapter, just a warning darlin's. ;)

Lance rolled over and squinted open his eyes, noticing first the messy mop of dark hair belonging to the sprawled out boy next to him.

 _Keith_.

Things had been weird with them lately.

And not just _sleeping-in-your-ex-rival’s-bed-and-cuddling-sporadically_ weird.

Just…weird.

And Lance blamed it on that stupid dream he'd been having. The one with Keith. And comforting after the battle. And the kiss…

_It got better every night._

Lance stopped the gay thoughts right there.

He needed to cut the act and face reality.

But the only reality he needed was right there in front of him. _Even if his reality didn't feel the same way about him._

And Lance knew not to set himself up for failure. He'd been rejected so many times it hurt him even now.

But right now Lance threw that all aside and hoped for the best. He'd risked a lot asking Keith to sleep with him, but if it brought them somewhat closer, even literally, he would take it.

Right then Keith rolled over to face him and Lance searched his pale face for some emotion. Keith really only had two emotions: angry and slightly less angry.

But Lance had started noticing Keith was really expressive in his dreams. Like, more than when he was awake. He actually _showed_ things.

For instance, right now Keith looked upset. Really upset. His face was scrunched up tightly and his mouth was downturned into a frown. A few tears were sliding down his cheeks, and that struck Lance like a slap in the face. He needed to comfort him. Like Keith did for him.

Lance scooted closer to the other boy and did as the other had done the night before; wrapping Keith up in his arms tightly, pulling him up against his chest and running his fingers through his hair, gripping softly.

He felt Keith shift a little, trying to get more comfortable, probably. He also felt arms wrap around his middle suddenly. So Keith _had_ been awake. _Figures._

Lance lay there for a while letting Keith get wrapped up in him, trying to match their breathing and calm down the anxious boy.

Lance didn't even know what was wrong. He only knew that Keith was a generally nervous person but didn't like to show it.

He put up too many fronts sometimes. And Lance wanted to break those down and help Keith build new ones; more open, trusting fronts. He wanted Keith to open up and talk about his problems.

Because Lance cared. About Keith’s problems? Yes. About Keith? You bet.

Eventually they both had drifted back off, not even realizing it had been a few hours. And they had less than a day to get ready for the mission. _The_ mission. Yeah. _That_ one.

Lance snapped awake at the sound of their door opening, revealing a fuming Shiro. Except, when he saw Keith wrapped up into Lance like a koala, legs and arms wrapped around his middle and all, his face softened slightly.

“He asleep?” Shiro asked, eyeing Keith and then flicking his eyes over to Lance.

“He- uh...had a nightmare. And, well. This happened, I guess.”

Shiro smiled even wider. Like he understood.

“Alright. Let him rest a little longer. Actually, stay with him. I'll stall Allura for a bit. When he gets up lemme know.”

Lance felt compelled to ask why, but he didn't want to pry. Shiro had known Keith for a long time. This might just be one of his things. “Got it.”

Shiro smiled once more after looking at Keith before closing the door softly and walking back down the way he'd come.

Lance lightly rubbed Keith’s back in little circles with his index and middle finger.

Keith hummed happily from his sleep and it took all Lance had to not squeal at it.

Eventually Keith squeezed open his eyes and glanced up at Lance; dopey grin in place and all, rosy cheeks accompanied it.

_He is so cute like this..._

And then reality struck Keith and he blushed incredibly hard, unwrapping his legs and arms from Lance's middle.

“Er-”

“You're fine, Keith. I didn't mind.”

“I was like that...the whole night?”

Lance paused for a second. He could tell Keith that, yes, he was wrapped up with him all night, or he could lie to avoid embarrassing the poor boy any more.

“Yeah, but honestly, it was my fault. I was the one who hugged you first. You were crying and you looked really upset, and I _had_ to, Keith!” Lance cried. And Keith giggled a little at this.

“What's so funny?”

“You're…” Keith paused to yawn. “Adorable.”

“Am not.” _Did Keith just call him adorable?_

“Mm. And slow, too. Dibs on bathroom.”

“ _Keith_ that's the good bathroom too-”

“Gotta be quicker next time,” Keith smiled before grabbing his toothbrush and leaving Lance alone in the little twin bed.

Lance rolled onto his back and looked up at the ceiling, processing everything that had just happened in the short amount of time Keith had been awake.

He had been called adorable. He had been clung onto like a koala. He had been beaten to the bathroom. Keith was cute. Lance was trying very hard to deny feelings. He was failing.

Lance brought his hands up to his face and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. Today was going to be weird and he knew it. He had no idea what Shiro had planned for the team. More training? Preparation? What was he playing at…

Soon enough Keith was back and staring at Lance from the doorway.

“You gonna get up?” He laughed. Lance shook his head. He didn't want to.

Keith sighed, putting his things on the table before walking over to him and grabbing his wrists, pulling him with all the strength he had.

And Lance was surprised, because it only took one pull for him to be on the floor.

“Keith!” He cried.

“Heh. You're light, McClain.”

Lance just sat there staring up at Keith before he felt a grin strike his face.

“Help me up,” he said, holding his hands up to Keith.

Keith obliged and grabbed Lance's hands, pulling him up to his feet.

But he held on for a second too long, holding tightly onto Lance’s hands; eye contact made.

Then he blushed and laughed a little, turning on his heel and walking out of the room.

_???_

Lance ran a hand through his hair, eyes following as Keith walked out the door. _Gay, gay, gay._

×××

Keith blinked a few times, trying to process what he just did. _Fucking dumb._

He called Lance adorable, held onto his hands, and clung to him like a koala for at least four hours. _Four fucking hours._

Keith was a dead man.

And now he was going to distance them.

He really wished he knew why he did the things he did. Like shamelessly flirt and then hide so he wouldn't have to face his mistakes.

_But I can't get too close to you my darling, can't get too close. God knows if I do you'll leave me broken hearted, lonely at best. But I'm kissaphobic, don't wanna get too close to you, your mouth is a hurricane, you do this a lot now don't you, baby?_

A phrase that could almost, with one hundred percent accuracy, describe the situation at hand, flitted through his head.

Keith was a catch. A real fucking keeper.

He didn't even know what the plans were for today. But all he knew was food, train, sleep until he couldn't anymore. Because how else was he supposed to handle being helplessly in love with his friend and teammate?

Keith walked as quickly as he could to the kitchen and tried to get in and out fast before being noticed, especially by Shiro, but he had already failed before reaching the kitchen.

“Hey, Keith. Get enough sleep?” Shiro was grinning brightly. _Did he know? Or was Keith just being paranoid-_

“Because you looked pretty comfortable this morning.”

“Oh Shiro you did _not_ see that-” Keith blushed violently, very aware that he was doing so.

“Only a little. But I saw enough to know that my little brother has a-”

“Shut. Up.” Keith clipped his sentence, throwing a hand over Shiro's mouth before he could finish. “Don’t you finish that.”

“Mmmf,” Shiro mumbled, clearly annoyed.

Keith glanced around the empty hallway before removing his hand.

“Can I trust you to _not_ bring up the... _incident_?” Keith asked, narrowing his eyes at Shiro.

“Fine, fine. But I will say that you two have come a long way.”

Keith shook his head. “Whatever.”

“Alright, moody. Get food. We're going to have some fun today.”

“Actually, I was gonna train a little. But I'll join you guys after, okay?”

“Keith, you've been training a lot lately. Don't you think you're prepared enough?”

“Nah. You can never be too ready, amiright?”

Shiro chuckled. “Okay, but don't forget about us.”

“How could I?” Keith smiled, dodging Shiro's hand. He still was too slow to avoid the ruffling of his hair from the taller man.

“ _Dude_.” Shiro just laughed at that, leaving Keith to get food for himself.

The kitchen was empty save for Coran in the corner eyeing him quickly before waving and walking out.

Keith brushed that aside and grabbed a plate, filling it up with space goo. It never got old.

Bringing his plate into the dining room and grabbing a chair, Keith noticed he was alone. No matter. It was good for him to be on his own.

Although he knew it wasn't.

But he hated being crowded, and being alone was the next best alternative. It didn't mean he hated being in teams, though. Especially not this one.

Keith sat in silence with himself while he ate and then cleaned up directly afterward, dropping his plate in the kitchen before heading for the training deck.

Again, he was alone. As expected. He was hardly joined in training if it wasn't necessary. That was better for him, anyway. He didn't like training in groups much. He felt trapped.

He walked into the deck, un-armored. It was his choice, too. He needed to prove himself once or twice without armor to see if he could. It was a test, he told himself. Keith set the level on the controls and stepped back, letting the bots fill into his space. His heart pounded and his pulse quickened, giving him a quick surge of energy as the bots surrounded him.

_He had this._

Immediately he started attacking the bots, using a punch and kick combo. This was usually successful and proved to be now, allowing Keith to take out all five of the robots and move on to the next level. He decided to grab his Bayard off the wall and activate it, getting into fighting stance and all.

Next up flew in eight robots, and Keith readied himself. Eight was usually where he ended. Not began. But it didn't matter. He could do this.

The bots flew up in a line, which was unfortunate. It would be an easy win now. First rule of combat: never send your team out in rows or lines. It made it that easy to take them all out quicker. And luck for him, these robots only had basic military knowledge.

So the cards were in his deck today.

Keith ran up and started swinging, slicing his way through the line of robots in a mechanic motion. Soon enough he’d gotten all eight, and those were cleaned up. In their place flew out what Keith expected to be eleven or twelve bots, but instead one flew out quickly and landed in front of Keith. Only, this one was double the size of a normal bot. It was also decked out. It had a shield and gun-like weapon, along with a sword in its sheath. Keith shivered despite his sweating disposition. Suddenly, he felt very outmatched.

The robot started at him, swinging its sword, and Keith activated his shield just in time. The robot’s sword clanged against Keith's metal shield and he used all of his force to propel the blade back at the robot. Lucky for him the robot lost its grip a little and ended up accidentally stabbing itself in the side, a loud scraping noise filling up the arena.

But that wasn't it. The robot mechanically pulled the sword out of its side and lunged at Keith, hitting the shield once again. Keith lowered it and backed up, realizing too late he'd been backed into a corner.

The robot lunged again, closing the gap in between them. Its sword hit the wall too close to Keith.

Keith swung and his sword properly sliced through the robot, but it didn't stop the bot from swinging again.

_How indestructible was this thing?_

Keith had already worked himself into a sweat after training for almost half an hour now and desperately needed water, but he couldn't do anything about it at the moment. He needed out of this corner.

Or he _was_ a dead man.

The robot had left a small sliver of space and Keith ducked and rolled, ending up on the other side of it.

The machine turned around to face him and lunged once more, and by now Keith had begun to expect this. He dodged the swing but accidentally moved back too soon, his hand grazing the side of the blade the robot held.

Keith sucked in air quickly. His hand was bleeding pretty badly already. It was a deep cut and he knew he needed to take a break. But he couldn't. _Redemption._

Keith was angry now, and he swung his sword with his left hand. His right was bleeding too much to be of use.

His sword clanged against the metal armor of the bot and sliced a deep cut into the machinery. The bot didn't yield, though. It swung in return and nearly hit Keith again, but barely missed. And Keith was grateful for his quick reflexes that had come out of nowhere.

_If only he could access the control panel…_

He backed up slowly realizing again it was a bad idea, because the robot backed him up against the wall yet again.

The control panel lay a few feet over, but just out of reach. _Shit._

Keith slid against the wall, moving over a little to get closer to the panel. The robot followed, of course, but lunged when he hadn't expected it.

Its sword hit just above the gash on Keith's hand, slicing along his arm to his wrist this time. Keith cried out in pain, dropping his sword and carefully shielding his right arm from future abuse. He practically ran to the box a few feet over and slammed off the robot, watching as it collapsed to the floor before being sucked out of his space.

Keith sighed, falling to his knees. His right hand and arm was trash now, and that was all he needed. His dominant hand, too.

He sat there on the floor for a few moments gingerly cradling his arm. He then rose to his feet and jogged over to his towel and water bottle, fountaining some water before cursing. _Man his arm killed._

He'd put the towel over it to soak up some blood and he looked down at the floor and realized he'd been trailing the red liquid along with him.

Just as he started walking to the doors they slammed open and revealed a distressed Lance, followed by Pidge.

“Keith?” Pidge asked, eyeing him from behind Lance.

“Keith, what the hell happened?” Lance cried, looking to Keith's arm and the trail of blood leading from his spot.

“Well, I uh-”

“Holy shit! Come on! We need to get this taken care of.”

Keith knew Lance was just worked up, but he was beginning to scare him a little.

“What on Earth did you do?” Pidge asked.

“Training.”

Pidge rolled her eyes and looked over to Lance. “Do you still need me here? Or should I go grab Shiro or something.”

“Mm. Dunno.” Was all Lance managed to say, too busy observing Keith's wounds.

Pidge rolled her eyes again.

“Alright. You two have fun. I'm gonna go alert Shiro.”

Once she was gone Lance turned to him with a look on his face that screamed “why” and started off down the hallway.

Keith didn't want to talk for fear he'd get snapped at again. So he didn't.

Time passed as did the futuristic light fixtures on the gray walls, and Keith had kept count as they passed to keep himself thinking of something other than his arm.

_42 lights ._

Once they reached the med bay a few minutes later Lance pointed to a countertop and said 'sit’. So Keith did.

He watched as Lance sifted through a bucket of medical supplies, pulling out a ton of blue gauze and some bandages.

He also brought out disinfectant and a paper towel or two.

He then made his way over to Keith and took the blood-soaked towel, pushing it aside. 

Lance poured a little bit of the liquid disinfectant solution onto a paper towel, applying it to Keith's arm and hand. He flinched but bit down on his lip. It stung and left his arm tingling.

Lance grabbed the bandages and placed them over the gashes. They had already started to look a little better. Whatever was in that alien solution had helped heal them quickly. But they weren't one-hundred percent healed, so Lance wrapped gauze carefully up his arm and then down to his hand, wrapping it around his thumb and then looping back around the surface of his palm.

As he worked he stuck his tongue out slightly, Keith noticed. He was really focused.

“How did this happen.” He said finally, not asking, but stating.

“I...set the robot too high. And tried taking on too much.”

Lance was silent for a moment as he continued wrapping around Keith's right appendage.

And then: “You could've gotten killed out there, you know. You're lucky it didn't chop off your whole arm. Or worse. It's just one robot, but you never know.”

“I know.”

“Then if you knew, why didn't you stop beforehand? You were _alone_ in there. If you had gotten injured worse nobody would have known. You were lucky me and Pidge went looking for you.”

Keith took that in. He hadn't thought about it at all.

“And,” Lance's voice rose, “you weren't even wearing armor! Were you _trying_ to get killed out there? Dumbass.”

Now Keith was starting to get a little upset too. “Look, Lance. I'm sorry, okay? I just…”

“Just what, Keith? Besides you getting hurt, you've barely even been around the team lately! Yeah, I get training is important and all. But so is team bonding. And you've been missing it. How do you expect us to get closer if you're not even there?”

And now he was pissed. Team bonding his ass. Lance didn't even remember their bonding moment. Not that it mattered, though.

“I'm not the only one at fault here, Lance! Part of the reason why I haven't been spending as much time with you guys is because this mission is going to kick our asses! And I don't want anyone getting hurt like…like last time.” He was getting more and more upset. Why couldn't Lance just see it his way for once?

“Yeah, but we've trained enough, don't you think? We've spent everyday training since that mission almost a week ago. I'd say we've done all we can!”

“But we thought so too last time!” Keith yelled now. Lance just stared at him.

"And you could have died last time, don't forget! You’re lucky we got you out of there before you lost too much blood. And now here you are. And I don't want any-”

“There's not going to be.” Lance gritted his teeth.

“How could you know! How? If you weren't aware, accidents happen all the time! People get hurt! They could die from those accidents!”

“And you could have today.” Lance had managed to keep his voice down for most of the argument, and Keith was embarrassed at how loud he had gotten.

“This isn't about me, Lance! Our team. You! Anyone could get hurt from anything! I just want to he ready to defend them.”

“Keith, you're just as important as anyone on the team. If you had gotten more injured than you had today…I don't…I don't know! You would be gone, without me even getting to know you better! Or anyone for that matter! You can't be everyone's hero all the time! Be your own first!” Lance slammed his fists on the counter next to him and swiped at his eyes. Keith hadn't realized he'd started crying. Lance looked at him before turning on his heel and walking out of the bay.

Keith looked down at his arm and felt a tears slip down his cheek. He was upset for reasons he wasn't even sure of.

He'd lost Lance over some stupid argument. One of the only people to ever care about him. And Keith pushed him away.

_You can't be everyone's hero._

And Lance was right. Keith had just been pushing the team away. He’d been pushing himself away from the team.

"I'm sorry! About ev-everything! I'm..." He was sobbing now.

A throat cleared from somewhere in the room and Keith looked up to find Shiro there. The only person Keith didn't want to see. But he was the only person who would listen right now.

“Keith? Your arm…”

“I was...I was training.” Keith sniffed.

Shiro smiled sadly. “And Lance?”

“Gone.”

Shiro walked over to him and pushed himself up onto the counter.

“What happened?”

“He told me I…didn't spend enough time with everyone. And yeah, that's true. But I don't want-”

“Hey. Breathe,” Shiro said, giving him a worried look.

Keith took a deep breath. “I don't want anyone getting hurt.”

“But you got hurt trying to protect them then, and now.” Shiro pointed out.

“You sound just like him!” Keith yelled.

“Hey, hey. Calm down. I'm sorry. I didn't realize-”

“You all are just the same! If I can't protect myself, what am I even?” Keith buried his head in his good arm. Shiro sighed.

“Listen. Keith, you're one of the best fighters I've ever seen. Don't let one mission choke you up. I know you wished you could have protected Lan- everyone. The team. But don't let that be the reason why you get worked up, alright? Worry about yourself too sometimes, yeah?”

Keith took a breath in and wiped tears that were starting to fall now.

“And the mission tomorrow will let you redeem yourself. Just…please make up with Lance, alright? You need each other.”

Keith felt himself nod weakly.

“Good. Hey, you don't have to, but it would be great if you came and hung out with us.”

“I dunno, Shiro.”

“Hey, no sweat. It's alright. You might just wanna rest up after the whole arm thing, right?”

“Mmhm.”

Shiro nodded, hopping off of the counter and smiling at Keith before waving and walking out.

And now Keith was alone. Literally.

He left his perch in the med bay and skipped showering, deciding it would be too hard with the cast. So he went directly to his room and collapsed on his bed. There really wasn't much he could do aside from train and annoy teammates, and neither of those were an option right now.

His therapist had told him that in depressive episodes to think of good things, but every time he had a depressive episode it was because there were no good things.

Right now was similar. He didn't have a few good things, Lance included. Because Lance was a good thing. A really good thing. And Keith lost him.

He rolled over carefully and shoved his face into his pillow, letting out a long slow moan of everything he was feeling.

Sadness, anger, anguish…

Loneliness.

He missed Lance. But he knew it was his fault. And now Keith needed to forget.

He let himself slip into a deep sleep, forgetting, even if it was only momentary, the stress and toxic feelings he'd been having.

And it almost worked, too.

_You giggled again. Being this close to Lance made you so happy. You hoped it was the same for him, too._

_Lance smiled at you, leaning back into the kiss, this time with more hunger attached._

_The force surprised you at first, but you knew to meet Lance halfway. So you pushed back. You felt Lance smile, pressing your bodies together closer if that was possible._

_And in that moment, lips crashing together as if it were the last time, you were struck with how much you missed this. Even though you had never kissed Lance before. But inside your head you kept hearing a voice telling you it was your last, and to enjoy it while it lasted. So you did._

_You bit down on Lance’s lip, smiling as a sigh escaped the brunette._

_You felt Lance's hands run up and down your back and then rest on your butt, squeezing slightly. You almost moaned then but stopped yourself, realizing you were in public. You then stopped everything altogether and looked around to be sure. The room was completely empty now. Lance was giving you a look, but you ignored it as you backed Lance up against a wall._

_You let yourself be flipped by Lance, your positions switching. You fell back against the wall with a thud and barely had time to recover before Lance's lips were on your neck, tugging lightly at the skin. And you liked that._

_“Hah, Lance…”_

_That made Lance bite down harder, and you felt warm breath wafting down your neck._

_Clothes. They needed to be gone and fast._

_“Lance, wait,” you said, breaking apart and starting to tug the clothes off of both of you. Your paladin armor had been removed long before apparently, but you didn't have time to register this as you hastily removed your shirts and undershirts and threw them haphazardly across the room. In no time at all Lance was back on your neck, running his hands up your chest and grabbing your arms, holding them high above your head._

_Lance ground in on you and it took all you had not to moan out. Lance did it again, and this time you lost part of your self control._

_“Lance, do that a-again,” you sighed breathlessly._

_And he did. “Keith, hah, I…”_

_“Lance…”_

_In only a few moments it felt as if your world disappeared and you were left dancing in space, right before your world came crashing down around you in white. And then it was Lance's turn as he moaned out a little too loudly._

_You watched as Lance screwed up his face and then unscrewed it, relaxing a little as he came back down to earth._

_He joined you in sinking down to the floor and laying there for a bit, intertwining your legs and grabbing your hand next to him._

_Lance's hand was warm compared to your usually cold one._

_You picked up Lance's hand and observed the slender, tan fingers next to your short, pale ones. There was so much contrast you could laugh, but hey, opposites attract and all that._

_Lance squeezed just then, sending warmth throughout your body as if he had shared some of his._

_“I love you, Keith.” Lance said, breaking the silence._

_“I…” you started. But you couldn't finish it. Because you didn't know how to all of the sudden. The words had disappeared from your tongue and you felt very cold suddenly. Almost as if Lance had never been there at all._

Keith woke himself up, too upset to finish the dream. The memory of being alone felt too real all of the sudden, and that's because he was now alone in his cold bed without Lance. And why did he expect him to be there with him? After the fight? After everything? Keith could kick himself. This was all his fault. He'd driven Lance out. He couldn't forget that.

And he didn't think he ever would.

 _I'm sorry_.


	5. crappy 75¢ movie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the mission™ is... interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter!!! wow so uh smut warning and stuff, not too detailed but just a heads up...  
> okay here goes nothing :)

“Paladins, we need to prepare for the mission! Please wake up!” Allura’s chipper voice flooded through the speakers all throughout the castle. 

Lucky for him, Keith's room was one of those spots with a speaker. He wondered if everyone had one too. 

And with that he got out of bed and pulled on clothes lazily, too full of emotions he couldn't name.

He pulled his hair back into a ponytail and pulled on his gloves. He never went anywhere without these puppies. It was unheard of. 

Except for maybe the shower. 

But that was the only exception. He even wore them under his paladin suit which, he'd heard, was a bit excessive. But he didn't care. It was good luck.

And man did he need it.

Keith left his bedroom and started the walk to the kitchen. While he walked he heard footsteps behind him and turned around to find none other than Lance. Keith turned back around then, his pulse spiking suddenly.

“Keith.”

He froze in his spot. Lance walked into his view and stopped too.

“Come on,” he said, grabbing Keith's arm and pulling him down the hall. Lance took a left instead of a right that would bring then to the main hall. He had purposely dragged Keith out of sight. Was he gonna kill him or something?

“What is it, Lance?” He asked, crossing his arms carefully over his chest and darting his eyes to the side.

Lance frowned. He gently grabbed Keith's bad arm and observed it. 

“I was going to ask how you were feeling,” he said, running a finger along the lines of the gauze.

“I'm…fine.” Keith said after a minute. He knew he'd waited too long, but he brushed that off. 

“Good.”

And that was it. Except, Lance hadn't stopped playing with Keith's cast. He was a little confused, but picked up the rolling ball.

“I-I was…a dick last night. I'm sorry, Lance. You don't deserve to be treated like that.” He stopped, looking up at the surprised expression on Lance’s face. 

And he didn't respond either. 

Had Keith done something wrong already?

“But you were right,” he continued. “And I'm sorry. I should spend more time with you.” He stopped for a second and then realized he needed to fix that. “You all. I mean, I need to spend time with all of you. But you too, for sure. You know?”

“I missed you, Keith.”

And for a minute he was confused. He had always been here. Or maybe not the  _ real  _ Keith. Lance missed the  _ real _ him.

“Really? ‘Cus I thought you hated me or something. I really need to work on reading people, I guess.”

Lance just smiled, and Keith couldn't stop thinking about how close they were; Lance practically standing on top of him.

“Move. I'm hungry,” Keith pushed against Lance's chest softly, and before he could remove his hands Lance grabbed his good one. He pulled Keith with him back down the hallway, going the right way this time. 

“Lance, wait!” Keith cried as Lance ran, pulling him behind. 

“Never!” Lance called back. And Keith could burst. He was happy for the first time in hours. All because of Lance.

“You little fucker-” Keith panted after reaching the kitchen. 

Lance laughed and pulled out two plates for them. 

“Shh. You love this.”

“Mm, I don't know if I do,” Keith chuckled. Lance feigned hurt before piling goo for them both and bringing the plates out into the dining room. 

Shiro and Pidge sat there watching as Lance held Keith's plate above his head and Keith grabbed at it, cussing him out all the while before setting it down and laughing. Keith just flipped him off and sat down, blushing suddenly when he noticed the two guests they had there. 

“Very classy, Keith,” Lance laughed. Keith punched him in the shoulder with his good hand. 

“Hey, guys,” he said awkwardly. 

“Keith, Lance,” Shiro nodded before rising and ruffling both of their hair before leaving. 

Signature move. 

Pidge just glared at them from over her coffee.

“You two are disgusting.”

“Good morning to you too, Pidge,” Lance snorted. She rolled her eyes and took a drink from her cup.

Hunk waddled into the dining room with some food and sat down next to Pidge, stifling a yawn.

“Morning, you three,” he said to them all.

“Sup.” Pidge said.

“Morning,” Lance and Keith said in unison. This made them look at each other and laugh. 

“Stop it. Right now.” Pidge grumbled. 

“I think it's cute, Pidge,” Hunk gushed. 

Now it was Keith's turn to snort. “Lance? Cute? That's the best one I've heard in a while,” Keith slapped his knee for effect. 

“Rude,” Lance frowned.

“I'm  _ joking _ ,” Keith said, grabbing his and Lance's plates as he walked into the kitchen. Lance followed him as he walked to the bridge where they were told to meet.

“Have you gotten back into your room yet?” Keith asked, trying to break the silence. 

“Nope. Coran says probably tomorrow.”

Keith nodded his head.  _ One more night with Lance.  _

He wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. 

Behind them filed in Hunk and Pidge. Allura and Shiro were already in the room waiting for all of them to arrive. 

Once they had gathered in the middle Shiro cleared his throat.

“Alright, guys. It’s that time again.”

“Right!” Allura smiled. “So, here's the plan. We're going to Planos, a very populated planet. It's very...earthy. It is mainly rainforest, as I'm told. Lance, you and Keith have the southside of the planet, which is very uncrowded. You two will be searching for the root of the distress signals, which will be in the form of a bomb.”

“A…bomb?” Lance asked.

“Yes. It's activated too, so you will need to hurry. When you land in about twenty minutes you'll have approximately an hour to find and send the coordinates to Hunk and Pidge on the east side of the island so they can dismantle it from a control box.”

“Oh boy,” Hunk said. “That's fun.”

“I know, I know. Not the most exciting mission we’ve had, but it's important. We need these indigenous people to join the Voltron coalition,” Shiro said.

“But that's not the only reason,” Allura said. “We’re also doing it for the good of their population.” 

Shiro smiled. “That too.”

Coran tapped his wrist as if he had a watch, signaling them to wrap it up.

“Oh, right. Team, you'll be split up into your own teams and sent down in escape pods. We can only land in orbit of the planet, not on the surface. It's far too dangerous.” Allura said. 

“What about Shiro?” Hunk asked. “Is he in this mission?” 

“Nah. I'm on control duty. So if any of you-” he looked at Keith and Lance, “-mess up, I'll have to step in.”

“Hey! Us? Messing up? I've never heard of that,” Lance said. 

“Mm hmm. Either way, I'll be here, alright, Cadets?” 

They all murmured a collective agreement.

“Alright, suit up!” Coran called. “Time is wasting!”

All of the Paladins headed for the suit bay with a little spring in their steps. Keith was nervous but ultimately excited, and he hoped his team was too. They were going to need it to get to the end. 

It was quiet as they all suited up, each reveling in a concoction of feelings. 

“Good luck, everyone,” Hunk smiled. 

“Yeah. We got this!” Lance pumped his fist in the air. 

“I guess,” said Pidge. “I'm only doing this so we can get actual sleep afterward.”

“That's the spirit,” Keith laughed. 

“Alright! Let's go!” Lance led them all to the pod bay like a drum major leading the band to the field.

Keith admired his spirit. 

And as much as he liked to walk with Lance side by side, walking behind him had its perks.

Some really, very nice perks. 

Shiro greeted them all in the pod bay and directed each team to their respective pods. 

Lance let Keith go first into the pod. 

_ What a gentleman. _

“Autopilot,” Lance remarked as he closed up the door and sat next to Keith. 

There really wasn't that much room in the pod to share, but it was comfortable being next to Lance. So Keith didn't mind. 

The trip to Planos was quiet save for the low rumble of the engine. The sky outside the windshield was a lavender color splattered with tiny blue and white dots Keith assumed to be stars. Whatever system they were in was probably millions of light years away from Earth. 

It's not like Keith missed it or anything. 

A little.

 

Lance missed Earth. A lot. And they were so far away…

He wondered what his family was doing right now. 

Probably busying themselves with everyday life. 

Did they miss him at all? Did they think about him?

Lance sighed, turning to look out the window. 

He was so far away…

 

Keith looked over at Lance. He was distressed and Keith could tell.

He was homesick. And Keith wished he could do something to make Lance feel better. But he didn't know what.

He turned back to the windshield and stared at passing planets that blurred as the pod flew through the deep expanse.

The countdown clock beeped quietly as it counted down how long they'd be until reaching Planos. 

Three minutes. 

A large green planet came into view as the pod zoomed closer. 

Keith pointed at it and called Lance. 

He looked over with an expression Keith couldn't quite read plastered on his face. 

He nodded and turned back to the window. “Lance…”

“Hmm?”

“Are you alright?”

“Perfect.”

And that settled it. 

When Lance didn't want to talk he wasn't going to. Keith had learned the hard way. 

The ship flew ever closer and eventually landed, all within two minutes. It felt like much, much longer though. 

The landscape around them was exactly like how Allura bad explained: green and leafy.

It was a rainforest alright. The air was humid and hot and Keith was already sweating even without doing anything. 

He hopped out of the pod and held a hand for Lance to take and he grabbed it, hopping out too.

“Let's do this.” Lance said, squeezing his hand. He didn't let go. 

Keith nodded. 

“So, we've got about an hour to locate and send the coordinates to Hunk and Pidge.” Lance said.

“Let's go.” Keith said.

Lance pulled out a GPS and directed them around the plant filled landscape for a while until he stopped and frowned down at the machine. They had passed the same bush at least ten times, and they had already spent forty-five of the sixty minutes they had.

“What is it?” Keith asked. 

“I dunno,” Lance admitted. 

Keith grabbed the machine and led them in the opposite direction. 

Lance had been holding it upside down. 

But Keith wouldn't tell him that. 

After a few more minutes of circling back Keith located the bomb. 

“Hey, send those coordinates.” Keith instructed. 

“Got it.”

Keith examined the contraption with interest. This thing was a bomb? It looked more like the control panel to those simulation robots he had to fight back on the ship.

Keith rubbed his bad arm subconsciously.

He wouldn't be able to think of those bots the same again. 

“Alright, we’re good.” Lance punctuated his sentence with a tap on the screen.

Keith gave him a thumbs up and a “what now”.

“To be honest, I don't know. Maybe we should head back for the ship?”

“Sounds good.”

Keith followed Lance back the way they’d come, heading through a small patch of forest. 

The walk was silent but comfortable, success running itself through Keith's veins like blood. 

He was getting excited now. If they could pull this mission off, he would be able to regain a little confidence.

Only, nothing good could ever happen to him.

“Ah!” Lance cried as he tripped over a rock and fell, landing on a pile of leaves. 

Except, in any crappy seventy-five cent budget film about dudes in a rainforest one has to fall into a trap and bring the other down with him. 

And luck for Keith, his life was a crappy seventy-five cent movie. 

And Lance had fallen into a trap hidden beneath a pile of leaves, long since dead. 

It was a pretty deep pit too. Whoever set the trap must have known what they were doing. Too bad it wasn't used until now. 

“Shit! Lance!” Keith said. He held out a hand and Lance could almost reach it. 

He tried again, jumping up and grabbing his arm. 

Again, bad things always happen. And Keith ended up being pulled into the pit with Lance. He tumbled down and landed partially in Lance's arms and partially on the dirt floor.

Lance lowered him the rest of the way down and sighed, falling down with him.

“I'm so sorry.”

“Don't be. At least we're together.”

“That's true.”

“Try calling Allura or Shiro or  _ someone. _ ” Keith frowned.

“Worth a shot,” Lance said, pulling out his comm.

He tapped Shiro's number and put it on speaker, hearing the dialing tone, cut short all of the sudden. 

Lance frowned. “No signal.”

“Great. Just wonderful.”

“Listen, Keith. I don't want to be here either.”

“Then  _ why  _ did you pull us down  _ into a pit _ ?” Keith argued.

“It’s not like I  _ tried  _ to!” Lance countered. 

“Whatever.” Keith grumbled, stretching out his legs and leaning back against the wall of the pit. They happened to land in a very small pit with barely any room to fit both of them. As it was, Keith's short legs could stretch across the entire pit and hit the other wall. Lance couldn't even really stretch out. 

He was all legs, and Keith envied that. 

By now the silence that fell over them was more awkward than comfortable, and Keith really wished they hadn't gotten off on a bad foot just then. Or even got trapped in a ditch they couldn't get out of. 

At least it was cooler down here than up there, and it was dark so Keith could shut his eyes and sleep if need be.

Except, it seemed like Lance had other ideas. 

“Keith, have you been sleeping lately?”

That made Keith freeze up. It came from out of nowhere. 

“Kind of.”  _ What was Lance playing at? _

“You just have pretty bad bags under your eyes is all.”

“Oh really.”

“Mm. When we get back to the ship I have a face mask that would do wonders for you.” Lance smirked. 

“I hate you.”

“But really. You should sleep.”

And now Keith was pissed. It wasn't like he didn't want to. He just…didn't want to dream of what he couldn't have. 

“I mean, I  _ would  _ start sleeping if I didn't have dreams of kissing you every night!” He snapped.

Lance turned a ghostly white in comparison to the white on his paladin armor. 

“You…have dreams of…”

“Yes, Lance. I have dreams of us making out after intense battles because I have no emotional outlet. Thanks for asking, though. It's really  _ doing wonders  _ for my sleep schedule.” Keith mocked.

“Wait! No, no, I've been…” Lance paused, looking distressed as if he were putting the final pieces of an unsolvable puzzle together. “I've been having those too,” he said, voice above a whisper.

And now it was Keith's turn to turn into a living ghost. 

“No shit?”

“No shit.” 

Lance's eyes locked onto Keith's and they shared a quiet, crazy silence as the gears turned in their heads. 

“How did this…” Lance began.

“The universe.” Keith finished, looking down at his hands. 

“What?” Lance asked, clearly lost. 

“It was the universe. Fucking bitch-”

“But how?”

“Fate. I was cussing it out the other day, and I guess the universe didn't like that.”

“Well I  _ guess _ ,” Lance said, looking still very lost. “But you know what this means, right?”

“What?” Keith asked. 

“We need to…test it.”

“Test it?”

“Yeah.” Lance started smiling, working up thousands of ideas at once. “We just need to try a few things. You know. Get the dreams to stop. Because,” he paused, “You aren't sleeping.”

“What will work?” Keith asked. 

“Let's find out.” Lance grinned. And even in the dark Keith could see the dimples in his cheeks. And Keith wanted really badly to kiss them. 

“Alright, Mr. Mad Ass. What's first?”

Lance frowned. “That _ ’s Dr.  _ Mad Ass, to you, sir. And, I say we try sleeping right now to see if the dream is close to the ending or not. You know. Scope out the sitch.”

Keith laughed. “Alright. Let's see.”

Lance leaned back against the wall and Keith let his head fall onto Lance's shoulder heavily. 

“G’night.”

“Night, Keefers.”

“ _ Do not _ call me that.” Keith practically growled.

“Nah, I think I like it.” Lance smiled. 

Keith wanted to punch him, but refrained for laziness’ sake.

Soon enough they both drifted off, and it felt great. That was, until the dream started. 

_ “Keith! Please don't go!” Lance cried. He was grabbing on to your arm tightly and you wrenched his hand off, looking into his eyes the whole time. Tears were streaking down Lance's blood-stained cheeks and falling heavily onto the floor.  _

_ “Enough!” You said, angrily, grabbing your hair and gripping it tightly. You couldn't take this any longer. Lance had screwed you over for the last time tonight.This part was the worst of the battle you had fought. Not the physical one your team had won today, but the internal one you had been fighting ever since you began liking Lance. And now you’ve won.  _

_ And you were exhausted. Instead of the tears you expected, laughter bubbled up from deep inside of you.  _

_ Loud, crazy laughter you hadn't expected to hear came up. And you didn't stop it.  _

_ You wondered how crazy you looked right now; dirt and blood crusted on your face, met with bruised and battered hands pulling your own hair like a mad man, trying to feel something again as the  feelings were taken from you by the man you had loved once upon a lifetime ago. _

_ And Lance just stared at you, shock painted on his face like a portrait.  _

_ But you didn't care. You laughed and laughed, until your lungs gave up and you started coughing uncontrollably instead. You collapsed onto your knees and let your hands fall into your lap, staring at them as quiet tears started to fall down your face.  _

_ And Lance was gone by the time you looked up again.  _

_ Alone. And you had no one to blame but yourself. And you wondered why this always happened.  _

Keith awoke suddenly, breathing rapid and uncontrollably. He felt tears in his eyes and he brought his hands up to his face to make sure he was alive and that dream wasn't true. 

Lance moved quietly next to him, waking up as well. And he turned towards Keith, and Keith almost cried harder at the sight of him.

“Lance! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean-” Keith stopped himself, realizing that Lance probably thought he was insane. 

“Keith, shh, it's okay. I know. You didn't mean it. Please, don't cry.” Lance said, holding out his arms. 

Keith crawled into the space he had created, fitting perfectly in the space between Lance's legs. He wrapped himself up in his arms, letting himself get held as he cried harder into Lance's shoulder. 

“It was just a dream, Keith. I'm not leaving you. I promise.”

Keith tried with all if his might to stop crying. It was only a dream. 

“I'm sorry I made you do this.”

Keith pushed back and propped himself up onto Lance's chest. “What do you mean?”

“It was my idea. I should have known we were bound to have a bad dream sometime. I just wished it hadn't happened right now.”

“How would you have known?”

“I dunno. But what I do know is that I'm not letting you sleep alone until this is all figured out.”

Keith nodded. He wanted this nightmare to end, but at the same time he didn't want Lance to leave him.

_ Fuck you, universe.  _

Lance’s comm rang just as Keith finished his thought. 

“It's Shiro! We have a signal right here!” He said. 

“Answer it, dumbass!” Keith said. 

Lance pressed talk and barely had time to put it on speaker before Shiro's voice rang through the comm.

“Where are you two?” He called, voice panicked. 

“Well, uh, were in a ditch.” Lance dead-panned. 

“You're in a...right. You're in a ditch.”

“Look, it's not as bad as it seems.” Lance said. 

“Not as bad as it- NOT AS BAD AS IT SEEMS?” Shiro yelled. 

“Right. Uh, we could send you our coordinates or something, right? And you guys could just skidoodle on over here, and-”

Shiro cut him off. “Yeah, that  _ would  _ be plausible if we weren't six hours away.”

“Wha- how?” Now it was Keith's turn to interrupt them.

“Well, we figured you guys had it under control, and as it turns out, a fleet of Galra attack ships had decided to scope out the scene, and-”

“And you guys dashed.” Lance rolled his eyes. 

“-And we dashed.” Shiro's voice fell as he ended his sentence. 

“Great.” Keith said. 

“What about Hunk and Pidge?” Lance asked. 

“Well, they happened to make it to the castle before we jetted.”

“How long have we been down here?” Keith asked, feeling a touch of paranoia hit him. 

“Two hours.” Lance said.

“Shiro, you gotta get us out of here. If Galra are here and we're unprepared…”

“I'll see what I can do.” Shiro said. 

“Alright. Hurry,” Keith said. 

Shiro only grumbled on the other side of the line and it went dead afterward. 

By now it was pretty dark outside as night began to fall.

“Keith, I'm scared.” Lance said after a while. 

And Keith could almost start crying again. Because he was scared too. And not just because of all of this. He was scared because he didn't know. He didn't know why. He was scared of the unknown. 

“Me too.”

“I can't believe I did this.”

“Lance, don't blame yourself. It could have happened to anyone. You were just unlucky is all.”

“Really unlucky.”

“Hey, bad things happen to me all the time. I guess the universe decided it was your turn.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Lance blinked twice. “Well then fuck the universe.”

“That's the spirit,” Keith smiled. 

“I guess we wait now,” Lance said after a moment. 

“I guess.”

Only, they didn't have to wait long because Lance's comm rang a few seconds later, and Shiro’s name popped up on the lit display screen. 

“Hullo?” Lance asked, hopeful tone meeting Shiro's stern one. 

“Hi, Lance. Keith is still with you right?”

“Yup. We’re still in this ditch.”

“Good. Stay put. We’re looking for you two now.”

“How'd you already get here?” Keith asked, misbelief bleeding through in his tone. 

“Pidge hacked the fleets’ ships and sent them off through a wormhole, and Coran turned us around and somehow doubled our speed. And now we're here, so stick tight.  _ And  _ send us your coordinates.”

“On it.” Lance smiled. 

The line went dead and Lance started tapping at the comm, working up the location and sending it instantly.

“We haven't even been here that long, but I'm glad we're leaving.” Keith said. 

“Me too,” Lance said, slamming his comm down on the ground. 

“Was that necessary?” Keith asked, eyeing the machine. 

“Sí.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Drama queen.”

“Soy una reina del drama?” Lance asked, throwing a hand on his heart in exaggerated shock.

“ _ Exactly  _ my point!” Keith snorted. That made Lance smile. 

“Adorable.”

“I would appreciate it if you didn't,” Keith said. 

“Didn't  _ what _ ?” Lance asked, playing dumb.

“Ugh! You know, flirt shamelessly.”

“How could I not?” Lance asked, reaching out and grabbing Keith's bad hand carefully, bringing it up to his lips. 

“Don't you dare.” Keith dead-panned. 

But Lance did. He pressed his lips to Keith's hand and Keith squealed, pulling it back and accidentally smacking Lance in the chin.

“Oh, I see how it is!” Lance said, trying and failing to hold back laughter. He moved onto hands and knees and tackled Keith, pushing him backwards onto the ground. The little space they had left in the ditch was taken up now, especially with both of them lying down. 

“Oy! Lance!” Keith laughed, trying to heave the taller male off of him. He completely covered Keith from head to foot, just by being taller. Lance just laughed.

He scooted down a little bit so his head was resting on Keith's chest, and Keith felt his face heat up. He was surprised it took this long for a reaction. 

When he figured Lance wouldn't be able to fight back he used a surge of strength to flip Lance over onto his back, leaving Keith laying on his stomach. 

“Wait a sec-” Lance started, but Keith brought his hands to Lance's sides and started tickling him before he could continue. 

Lance burst out into a fit of laughter and started swatting Keith's hands away but failed, Keith's hands now moving on to his thighs. Keith was only guessing tickle spots, but it seemed like Lance was ticklish everywhere.

The thigh area was an even bigger success than the sides, and Lance was suppressed to gasps and snorts by now. 

“This is for kissing my hand and calling me  _ adorable _ ,” Keith feigned disgust. 

Lance looked to be crying now, and he opened his mouth to speak but got cut off by his own laughter. 

“Un-uncle!” He cried. “¡Ay! ¡Dios mío!”

Keith had to giggle a little at this. From his position straddling his hips he had a perfect view of Lance, in all of his glory, and Keith was blushing again. 

He eventually let up with the tickling, and when he did Lance was too weak to move, so Keith had to help him sit up against the wall. 

“Fuck. You,” Lance panted. 

“Please.” Keith chuckled. He then froze. He didn't mean for that to come out, it was a joke, dear lord save him now. “Please- uh, don't. I didn't mean-” Keith couldn't stop the words purong out, feeling his face get redder as he dug himself deeper.

Lance had become very silent all of the sudden and he stared at Keith as if he were a crazy man. Because he was.

“I was joking.” Keith said again.

Silence filled the pit as Lance stared him down. 

“But I'm not.” Lance said after a minute, pouncing Keith to the floor once more. 

“Wait, what?” Keith said in disbelief from under Lance.

“I said _ I'm not. _ ” Lance started kissing Keith’s neck hungrily, having to remove part of the armor to access it. 

“Hold on. You’re not kidding? What about Shiro? He's gonna be- ah, Lance- here s-soon.”

Lance laughed devilishly into Keith's neck as he decomposed in front of him.

“I know.” Lance said. 

“And you're not- oh my g- worried?” Keith couldn't even finish a sentence now, and Lance found this hilarious, and he kept at it to prove so. He only stopped for a second to remove Keith's and his chest plates and leg armor. The team had gotten so quick at putting on and removing armor, and this helped them right now, but Keith was still worried about being caught. 

Underneath their armor and skin suits they were both wearing tank tops and boxers, and despite the cool air Keith was sweating. And also sporting a hard on. And he knew Lance was too. He could feel it. It made this situation all that more awkward. 

And if Keith thought he had bad luck falling into the pit, he hadn't thought about having to answer the phone with someone teasing the living daylights out of you. 

But now he had the chance to do so. 

Lance's comm started buzzing next to him and Keith really didn't want to answer it, but Lance nodded over to it. So Keith did. And he was momentarily relieved when Lance stopped sucking at his neck so he could answer the phone. 

“H-hi,” Keith panted. 

“Keith?” Shiro said. “Are you okay?”

“Never better,” Keith frowned up at Lance as a warning. 

“Alright. Well we're-" Shiro's voice cut out of Keith's mind as Lance went back to exploring him, except on his thighs now. He kissed Keith's inner thigh and then dragged his tongue upward towards his crotch, keeping perfect eye contact the entire time. 

“Wait a sec- Shiro, I didn't h-hear what you said.” Keith whined. He needed to keep cool.

“Oh. I just said that we’re a little far off. We’ll be a bit. But I still have more news to tell you, so don't hang up.” Shiro said. Keith frowned. He needed to hang up more than anything. 

Lance noticed his voice had regained some normality and he didn't like that obviously, so he pulled down Keith's boxers and dragged his tongue farther up Keith's thigh and on to his dick. 

Keith just shook his head repeatedly, letting Shiro's voice drone on in his ear while he tried to remain composed. 

“-and all that. But don't worry about the travel. We’ll be fine, hopefully-”

Shiro's voice faded in and out but Keith couldn't pay attention due to the man currently sucking him off. 

But he had to admit. Lance was pretty good at this. Keith wondered where he'd gotten his training. 

“-Keith? Hello? You there?” 

“S-shiro, I'm here. Ah- I’m just really t-tired, you know-” Lance grinned up at him from where he was laying on Keith’s legs.

“Seriously. Are you okay?”

“Mm. Ah- Lance-” Keith realized he couldn't leave the sentence there. “-Is here too! S-say hi, Lance!” Keith barely got it out. 

Lance gave him a look that was  _ extremely  _ hot before grabbing the comm from him.

“Hello, Shiro,” he breathed, remaining steady eye contact with him the whole time through a little conversation. Afterwards he handed the comm back and gave Keith another devilish look before going back to work. He really hated Lance right now. 

“Anyways. We’re trying to get to you as fast as we can. Hang tight, okay?” Shiro said. 

Lance took a chance and brought the entirety of Keith's shaft into his mouth, choking only a little when it hit the back of his throat. 

“Ah _ , Lance _ \- Yes, Mm hmm, yes sir!” Keith blushed hard. He'd totally just given them away. He heard Lance laughing hard.

“Okay. You're acting weird. What's happening right now?” Shiro asked, suspicion creeping into his tone. 

“N-nothing. Ah- I'm okay. I'm great. Why wouldn't I be?” Keith tried to keep his voice steady as he talked.

“No reason,” Shiro didn't sound convinced. 

“C’mon, Shiro. They're totally fucking.” Pidge said from somewhere in the back.

“Thanks, Pidge. That’s- That's great.”

_ They were on speaker phone. Wonderful.  _

Lance didn't like how quiet Keith was, apparently, because he started purring as he worked, and it made Keith almost scream so he grabbed Lance's hair tightly and bit on his lip to keep from making any more noise. That seemed to be enough for Lance as he stopped for a second to groan softly, keeping his voice down, but he didn't stop, and  _ god _ Keith was close. 

“Anyway. Pidge has crazy delusions. I don't know where she got that- wait. You  _ aren't  _ doing…that, are you?” 

“No-no way, Shiro.” Keith stuttered, squeezing his eyes shut. 

“Good. Because I'd want to make sure you were totally prepared, you know? Anyway. We're almost there, so be ready.”

“Gotcha-ah, Lance, ah, I'm-” Keith was lucky the call cut out there or else he'd be a dead, dead, dead man. And Lance was about to be soon. 

Lance had already cleaned up everything, quite literally, before Keith had time to ask. 

“ _Lance_ _fucking McClain_ ,” Keith growled, keeping direct eye contact with Lance as they put on their armor. 

“Yes, ¿Mi querido?” Lance asked innocently. 

“You're a cunt.”

“I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about.”

“You sucked me off _ in front of my brother _ .”

“Oh that. Right. But don't tell me you didn't enjoy it,” Lance winked. 

“Fucking asshole.”

“You didn't deny it.” Lance grinned. 

“No, no, it was fucking  _ great _ , okay? But next time, how about  _ not  _ on the phone with our team, okay asswipe?”

“Next time, huh?” Lance asked. 

“Fuck you. Really.”

“No, no, I'm gonna remember this.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

Keith stood up and dusted himself off, really wishing the rest of their team would hurry up and get there. 

As if the universe was trying to help him for once, Shiro, Pidge, and Hunk all arrived in a short five minutes.

“Thank fuck,” Keith said. 

“Alright, c’mon,” Shiro said, holding down a rope. He used his robotic arm to keep it steady and supported and after Lance, Keith climbed up and onto the land that had deceived them. 

“Thank you so much,” Keith said to Shiro. 

“No problem. It was kind of necessary to get two-fifths of our team. We need to form Voltron and all.”

“Okay, first of all, fuck you.” Keith said. 

“I'm joking, I'm joking.” Shiro chuckled. 

“Can we get out of here now?” Pidge asked, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“Yeah? Please?” Hunk agreed. 

“Alright. But after this, and I mean it, Keith, we’re not going to train for a while. But not too long.”

“ _ Okay _ , jeez. A guy gets attacked by a rogue robot  _ one time _ .” 

Hunk laughed at that and clapped Keith on the back softly.

“Alright, team. Good work, even if you fell in a pit. We still got everything done that needed to be done.” Shiro smiled. 

Lance whooped and Pidge cheered and they started walking, and Lance grabbed his good hand and squeezed, a little sign of  _ something.  _ But Keith was too overjoyed to think about it too hard, so he just squeezed back.

Lance and Keith tagged behind the team and walked back to the ship through thick patches of grass while still holding hands, not even realizing they were doing so anymore. 

“So, you remember that one dream we had this week?” Lance asked as they neared the ship. The rest of their team had already gotten in.

“ _ That  _ one?” Keith asked, remembering clearly the vivid details and explicitness.

“ _ That  _ one.” Lance agreed. 

“What about it?” Keith asked. 

“That was hot. But not nearly as much as today."

“Shut up.” Keith laughed. 

Lance squeezed his hand again as they walked into the castle and to their rooms. 

When Lance reached his he found Coran working on the door, his eyes lighting up when he saw Lance. 

“Ah! Lance!” He said, standing up and brushing his hands off on to his pants. 

“Did you fix it?” Lance asked, excitement striking his face. 

“I sure did,” Coran smiled proudly. 

Lance watched as Coran opened the door and let him inside to examine the old space. 

Keith felt his heart drop but he wasn't sure why. Maybe it was because Lance wouldn't sleep with him anymore, but he knew that was dumb because he and Lance weren't even a thing. _ Were they? _

Keith walked into his bedroom and shut the door, getting ready to sleep on his own for the remainder of his life. And that might have been a little over dramatic, but Keith was a hopeless romantic, and he needed to hope a little less. 

Only, his heart rate rose when he heard the familiar knock at the door. 

“Come in,” he felt himself smile. 

The door swished open and Lance stood in the doorway, pajamas on along with a smile. 

“Told you I wasn't leaving you,” Lance practically sang.

Keith smiled brightly and scooted over so Lance could share his little twin bed. 

Lance shut the door behind him and crawled into bed next to him. 

“Hey, bud,” Lance smiled, facing Keith.

“Hiya,” Keith smiled back.  _ Smiled.  _

Lance wrapped his arms around him and Keith tucked himself into Lance's chest happily. Lance smelled like lavender and some kind of spice, a little bit of detergent that hung on to the shirt, and what Keith imagined was what home smelled like.

Lamce was also warm. Like really warm. And Keith liked it, he decided. So he wouldn't be leaving this spot anytime soon.

“G’night Keefers.” Lance said contently. 

Keith rolled his eyes but smiled, trying to hold back a laugh. “Goodnight, Lance.”

 

The night passed peacefully without a single disturbance, and when Keith woke up he immediately sat up.

"Lance! Lance, wake up,” he said. 

Lance turned over and grumbled but woke up anyway, just because Keith had asked. 

“Whassit,” Lance slurred. 

“The dream.”

“Whattbout it?”

“It’s over, I think,” Keith smiled. 

Lance sat up suddenly. “Really?”

“I mean, I didn't have one last night.” Keith said. 

“Me either.” Lance said. 

“Well, I'm indifferent.” Keith remarked after a while. 

“Me too. I think it's for the best.” Lance said, settling back down next to him. 

“I think I know why,” Keith said. 

“Why we had the dream?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, shoot.” Lance gazed up at him.

“It's because while we were having it, we didn't have each other. Well, literally, yeah, but not figuratively. You know?” 

“I think so.” Lance said, eyebrows furrowing slightly.

“Like, we weren't together, or dating, or what have you. But, yesterday we kinda…started something mutual, I think.”

“Right.”

“And, I may be going crazy, but I think the universe really does know what it's doing.”

“Well, if it put me with you, it really must.”

Keith laughed and pounced onto Lance, straddling his hips.

He leaned down and kissed him on the lips, breaking out into laughter for no reason.

“I love you, Lance,” Keith said quietly, rolling off of Lance. And it felt like he could finally say it.

“I love you too, Queef.” Lance smiled.

“You’re a little shit, did you know that?” Keith rolled away from Lance and faced the wall.

“ _ Qu-ee-f _ ,” Lance whispered into his ear.

“ _ Lance _ -” he turned back around and practically growled at Lance. 

“Hmm?” Lance smiled innocently.

“Fucker.” he said, holding back slight laughter now. His mood swings were practically baring their teeth.

“But you  _ love  _ me,” Lance cooed.

“You're exhausting.” Keith sighed, exasperated.

Lance scooted as close as he could to Keith without being on top of him and began to ambush him with kisses. 

Keith could only lightly slap his cheeks as defense from the wild boy but eventually gave up, relinquishing his personal space to the sheer force of Lance's wet kisses. 

“Mmf.” He mumbled out from under him as Lance tackled him in a hug. 

“I  _ looove  _ you Keefers,” Lance smiled into his neck, squeezing the life out of Keith. 

But he couldn't help the smile striking his face anyway. 

“Love you too, Lance.”


End file.
